a little bit of action going on
A week ago we were contacted by our licensing specialist. Another county was looking for families who would want their files looked at for a child who would have some special needs. Our licensing specialist gave us some information and asked if we would like to have our file put on the case managers desk to be considered for baby A. After reviewing the information we had received we let her know we did want our file passed on and wanted to be considered for the Red File Staffing for baby A.
We were nervous to tell anyone about the call because this was a weird preliminary call and we had not yet been selected for the Red File Staffing, we only knew our file would be looked at. We didn’t want to jinx our chances by telling everyone. Silly, I know.
We can’t say much but here is what we can tell you. Baby A was a 13 month old girl who had already been faced with a lot in life and at this point there was a lot of unknowns regarding how lasting her special needs would be.
We were secretly really confident we would at least make it to the Red File Staffing and probably even get selected. We thought this because I am an ICU nurse, baby A’s special needs, and since J and I work opposite shifts, we are considered a stay at home parent. These were two BIG things in our favor.
We thought and considered the special needs and the challenges we may face but were excited and confident we were ready to take on this challenge.
While waiting to hear if we were selected to be in the Red File Staffing, I was praying for God’s will. If baby A was the right baby for us, we would be selected. If baby A was not the child he wanted us to have, I wanted the decision to be made for us. I didn’t want us to be faced with the decision of not choosing her if we felt the challenges would be too much upon learning more information. I know being in that situation would be really hard for us because we are so ready to be parents.
Tuesday we were contacted by our specialist, letting us know we were not chosen to be in the Red File Staffing. We were all shocked based on the particular special needs and my nursing background that we weren’t selected to be in the staffing. At this point in the game, they don’t tell you why you weren’t selected. Normally you wouldn’t even know they were looking at your file until you were asked to be in the Red File Staffing.
I guess we are encouraged our file has been looked at and considered. Surprised we didn’t make the Red File Staffing on this one. And trying to believe the reason we weren’t chosen is because my prayer was answered that we wouldn’t have to choose not to take her because her medical needs were too great.
It is amazing how attached you can get and how easily your heart can start loving this little being that isn’t in your life yet.